last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
