It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
