and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
