I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
