so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
