Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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