Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
