Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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