why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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