so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
