this boner is exhausting
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
