Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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