I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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