he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
accomplished twins. life is a go
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
