i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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