We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
