omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
