Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
