Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
