i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
