i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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