i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
