she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
