did you get engaged???
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
