I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
