Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
