I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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