I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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