yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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