I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Of course I have a pirate flag
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
