It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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