Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
