Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
