he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
