I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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