You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
