You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I understand Curling. That high.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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