...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Randomize
