Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
