I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
