connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
