I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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