Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
