Fuck appropriateness.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
