Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
