No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
