3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
