i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
