i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize