There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
