I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
