I love black thongs
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
