glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
40s are totally the cure
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
