Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
